Important information for relatives

How do children experience psychotic phases?

For me, a psychosis is (as if)...

  • "As a child I distanced myself very extensively from my mother, because I needed protection. It was abysmal for me, to experience that my mother was not at all present. I noticed precisely how the depression gradually developed. Afterward, I knew exactly how the course of things progressed and I then thought to myself: Thank God, she will now only be here for another 14 days, and then she goes back into the clinic. As a child I sometimes took my mother and shook her, I simply didn't know what the matter was. At some point it became clear to me that there was nothing more that I could do for her. She was no longer responsive then. And at some point I was simply glad that she was no longer there."
  • "I hid my mother from my friends. She was so unpredictable. At the same time I loved her very deeply. Sometimes, if I was alone with her, I had the feeling I could save her. I thought that I must only find the right word, I must find out what is behind it all, what was wrong with her. I had a deep need to track down the answer to this mystery. We read a great deal so that I thought that it could simply be a matter of finding the right word. I talked to her excessively until my powerlessness was impossible to overlook."
  • "My mother was very charming and really splendid, when she was healthy. However, the sudden, drastic changes led her to lose all of her friends. When she was diagnosed to have cancer, she changed completely. She began to fight with life and the phases became weaker. All in all, I can say that I already became a mother for my mother very early as a child. As a result, I grew up very quickly and it was truly a grand feeling as well. I only recognised my own deficits much later."
  • "My parents had a terrible marriage. My mother now does things that she previously would have considered immoral. She no longer takes these things into consideration. Meanwhile, I know that she has never lived as she would have liked to live. She was deeply unhappy in the prison of marriage, with four children, without a profession, in the last house out in the sticks. When I was ten-years-old, I told my friends that she is a witch. Only later did I began to understand her and began to take care of her. My father had never taken my mother seriously and, at the same time, had never set any limits."

(Source: T. Bock, StimmenReich, Balance – Buch und Medien Verlag, Germany)

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